Maybe its just me? Couldn't you believe?
Profile HOME Ruth Arriola, 092792. Call me Ruth. Im 18 years old. Licensed. Im Undescribable. Even i cant Describe myself. but hey, i dont bite. follow me. and ill follow you yah? My Life's happy and sometimes its just shit that happens. I mean wwho doesnt get emo at times? haha. Its a blog kinda like my Timeline while im not tired of the massive transformation of the technology Archives March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 December 2010 January 2012 Exits Allure Bloom Crane Denotation Enigmatism Flair Grace Hope Initiation Credits ©Glamouresque.	Saturday, May 29, 2010 God, Family, School and Friends is equals to my life. This is how my life should go. In the same exact order, same exact spellig and its definition. I realized I could only handle this much. It is what you see is what you get. If you work for ir, it will bring peace and joy. Work for it rather than regretting the fact that you did not try. Try your hardest and do your bestest; in fact it is the only thing you can do when all else fails. And it's true, and there is nothing wrong with trying. Nothings going to change. This is what i learned in these past few days, just recently. I had a fight with my parents and they were talk about my school and how i could do so much more. My grades isn't the way theyre supposed to be right now. I could do so much more. It hit me hard when my dad said "I do sport during my high schoool,yet i still excelled in class" It was the time that a tear just crawled down in my face. It broke my heart in a way that i wish I could do so much better, i wish i have that kind of skills my dad has, and a brain like him. Well, too bad i dont. This Cornell University thing? I tried my hardestto get the money, but it wasn't enough. They were the reason why i wanted to be in this summer college because atleast I know it would give me a background of becoming a doctor in the future. It hurts because of the fact that I can't go when i fund raised for it. I wish it's that easy to balance my activities along with the school works. I wish i had those skills.. "Feel the lows before the high" A quote that I can never forget from the moment i heard it from a song called Unthinkable- Alicia Keys. "Sana ganito na lang buhay, lage mo kasama mga kaibgan mo, walang tigil na kasiyahan" - BestFriend Jerome E. right? I wish Life could be that easy, all bout having fun,partying, being there for eeach other. but naaah, To succeed in life, you gotta balance all of your priorities. and you gotta know which is your main priority. For me, its God. He is the reason for my living, He's my provider and everything, therefore i should give him back all the glory. There's always a guilty feeling in me when I cant go to church due to my activities, but i know He understands. but not all the time. He moves in mysterious ways in my life, when He know i deserve it, He will gladly give it to me, eventhough i know to myself, that I do not deserve anything. Im very thankful that I passed my driving test. He's so great that he let me passed my test eventhough I didnt go to church for the past few days.. GAHHHHHHH. im thankful that there's always a positve sidee of everything. whew. oh, im single because i just wanna do me first. Im grateful, im RUTH Sunday, May 16, 2010 this love is taking all of my energy. foolish maybe i was so foolish to react like that huh? tell me im wrong? i think i am in some way, but you cant blame me. i was jealous. and this man needs to learn his lesson real fast. but eff man. am i gonna see him tomorrow? Im not ready. omg. im hella crying right now.fuck sorry. but no. ughhhh. you hella hurt me dude. you were so out of pocket. but i love you. and im missing you.. hope ur not crying right now like me. this shit fuckinnngggg hurts man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 when you love someone Now Playing: Say Goodbye- Chris Brown "and sometimes it makes me wanna cry" what i have written in my blog before this, was all lie. Technically, now,it's hitting me hard. i thought that i was gonna be the one to hurt him. Well, apparently, im the one who's hurting right now. So bad. yesterday was worst. I never knew that it would hurt this much. To see someone you love, talk to other girls is what hurting me the most right now. Especially when the girl he was talkin to was the girl he used to like. I was keeping it for a long time, til this time i had to tell him because i couldn't take it. I never knew it would hurt up to this point, when i used to not give a fuck when they were talking. but it just hurt and it made me mad because he was so careless about what i feel. they're all the same, guys are so stupid. :[ fuck man. Damn, there's a part of me telling to not let him go because its gonna be hard. It was that fast? I know right? I got close to him that fast and we've only been goin out for a month. its hard to lose someone you love just like that. I'm still holding on, even though i aint showing it. and i never knew that i would be hooked to him that i cried this much .. man dude, i love Christian.. :[ Saturday, May 15, 2010 she doesn't know what she wants. I cant even start how to put this ina good way, but whatever. I knew that this feeling is only in the beginning, but you cannot do anything because you're stuck. I dont know, maybe it's just he's too good for me. fuck i dont know. What people said to me was stuck in my mind that it led me to just doing it because of them, not for him. I cant let him and them down. wtfuck man. im helluh fucked up.. Maybe i just gotta work on this by myself. i'll get through this. I have a lover, and he's the perfect guy. i can't hurt him. i cant. Sunday, May 9, 2010 sigh. crying myself to sleep. maybe some day, i'll learn how to stand on my own feet and not depend to the ones you expect to be there for you when you need them. or maybe not expect something from anyone at all. Life hurt sometimes, cuz in the end,its just me,myself and i. Goodnight Monday, May 3, 2010 In less than 4 weeks ...the school is finally over. but over the duration,expect that there's gonna be more work and pain in the brain + more hard work for the upcoming PAL. All we gotta do is stay strong. Its almost there.I can do it, you could too. Goodnight. I gotta stay strong, and my name is, RUTH Sunday, May 2, 2010 Life is Precious. and we should take care of it.. I just recently watched this video: http://vimeo.com/11222689 and it made me think what could happen with a blink of an eye. It is really important that we know,in ourselves, that Jesus Christ is in our hearts. and it is also important that we choose the right decisiom, because not only that it will affect us, but consider also the people around us. Life is very precious, you only live once.. So this week is boutta be over in an hour. And tomorrow, I will go to school with a new mindset about things. Not being stupid, (kuz i know ive been making the stupidest decision this whole week ). i cannot afford to make another one. Time for some change, ruth. Real change. This week is about to be busy... with all the fundraising and work i will be doin for the tuition for Cornell.. Ima have to end it here now.. CHANGEruthCHANGE. Saturday, May 1, 2010 vindicated NOw Playing Vindicated- Dashboard Confessionals It just happens that I was listening to this song by dashboard confessionals, and i was intrigued about the title and what it actually means. I looked it up on dictionary.com and there it showed up the meaning. I get it now. I remember this was one of the songs played in Spiderman (i dont remember what series was it). But hey, this week has been pretty much tiring, stressing,heart breaking and full of lessons. This week wasnt just the week for me, although i tried to look on the brighter side of everything. It would work,but there are just times that you can't do anything but to cry.. cry.. and learn a lesson.. Life? It may hurt, but that's where you become a better person.. i feel relived knowing that thing wasn't taken a look at. God blessed me this much. I've been praying So starting monday (april 25), i've been pretty nervous because of the much awaited behind the wheel test on thursday the 29th. So then thursday comes right? it was pretty much going so good til i heard the news about Mr. Swan, my heart was broken, everybody in ap english was crying.It just hurt to see someone passed away just like that. It really does hurt... i was zoning out til 4th period.. til kyra made me smile because she sent me a message saying: Dear Ruth, I love you Love, Kyra mr. swan was one of the greatest and cool teacher, in all honesty. he's a friend to me.. so then the moment of truth.I was so ready to take my driving test , my dad already excused me outta my class, and the next thing i know, the car has the orange thing on the wheel, i was like wow! are you serious? on the birthday of my brother? and on my behind the wheel test too? and the fact that i will be missing a game too. OMG. why does this shit have to happen on that day? from that moment, i didnt know what to do, i felt like the world just went down to me, i felt burdened so much. to know that its $405?, i feel like i wanted to die. april 29th was one of the worst days ever. i was crying the whole time. I've learned so much lesson dude, i know my God has a purpose for that, or maybe the devil was just tryna test me. =[ i cant even explain the feeling, i couldnt function the whole day, knowing that i have a test tomorrow, and a project due. what a shame... If its not meant to be, you could try waiting... maybe its time for me to wait? sometimes,all you can do is cry.. im RUTH.
But baby, where they knock you down and out Is where you oughta stay