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Maybe its just me?
Couldn't you believe?
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 Profile
HOME Ruth Arriola, 092792. Call me Ruth. Im 18 years old. Licensed. Im Undescribable. Even i cant Describe myself. but hey, i dont bite. follow me. and ill follow you yah? My Life's happy and sometimes its just shit that happens. I mean wwho doesnt get emo at times? haha. Its a blog kinda like my Timeline while im not tired of the massive transformation of the technology Archives
March 2009
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October 2009
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December 2009
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January 2012
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Wednesday, December 30, 2009
i missed my babygirl ha. today wasss crazy, if i shud say it that wayyy. i drove around frico, to get keith's cake,i ended up goin to goldilucks by mission. haha. i should sayyyy, i hatee frisco streets like noooo otherrr. haha. but i liked it kuz its raininggggg! and then.. i went to my cousins birthdaaaay,at first i didnt want to, bcuz i knew that this girl would be there, and i didnt wnna seee her. but i went. anddd i love it how she went up to me hugging and kissed me. haha. immediately she dragged me to her room to talk about stuffs, and i love our conversatttiooons, like on thaa reaal. haha. she kept me laughing theee whole time and told me stuffs that i never knew. like thankss babyygirl. haha. but she kept pushing me to go for that "guy" on my facebook, which is my bestfriend. haha. like helll naaaaaah, he's my bestfriend. haha. and dat will stay forever. haha. and shes all like teasing me that im a weaksauce cuz i cudnt get him. hahaa. i was likeee, no hes really my bestfriend. haha. shes succhaa dork, i think ill treat her out on thursdaaay thoo. i needa get the van again. and need that girls day out. meanwhile, ill be gone for awhile. take care of yourself. iloveeeyou. and ill missyou. its not that i miss you It’s not that I miss you. I just, for some reason, keep thinking you’re going to walk through that door and tell me that you miss me and you want me and can’t imagine your life without me. I keep thinking you need me and you’re randomly going to call me, IM me, or text me… Tuesday, December 29, 2009
i still love you somehow I want to be immune to what you’re saying cause you’re hurting me. I just want to sit here and hate you. I need to find a way to deal with my pain and anger. I wish I could make you disappear. You want to know what my problem is? My lips say I hate you but my heart whispers I still love you somehow… and this is why i hate night time this is why i hate night time Now Playing : When You Love Someone - DNH Cause when you love someone, truly love someone No matter how hard you try sometimes you can’t let go And if the one you love should feel the same way in return Then make the one you love yours forever today? monday, nothing new, didnt do anythig actually. i was in my laptop for hours and hours. the only time i went off is when i cleaned things up and cooked food for myself. i beeen thinking alot for the past few days. i dont know why, but thinking about it? yes it is so gonna be hard. but im doing this for your good. so i wont have to expect anything from you.im sorry. i got my sidekick back, got a refill for it.thankGod its still working and i forgot my password, i never expected that my password was ……. this sidekick briiinggs so much memorrriesss that made me miss you damn much. look what i saw in my notes; “do you get what imsaying when i say im in love with you and that one day i hope we’ll be together forever and eever?=)” it just made my heart smile just for once„and after that certain moment evrything was back to its heartache. it wasss so nice being happy even just for that time. it was the best feeling ever. i wouldnt wanna look back to bad times but im glad you happened in my life. and id gladly love to get those feelings back again.and id gladly love to fall back in love with you, but i know its never gonna happen Now Playing: Promise- Jagged EdgeDon’t let no one change your mind Cause they don’t know how much I care They don’t know the things we share unless they’re here babe But since they’re not How can they say I’m not true Time will heal everything.and time will come that im gonna be fine. i wont rush because i know its not easy. I know that i would end up loving you still even if im gone. NOw Playing: Do You Remember- Jay Sean If it’s alright with you then it’s alright with meBaby let’s take this time let’s make new memories Do you remember do you remember do you remember All of the times we had Do you remember do you remember do you remember All of the times we had Let’s bring it back on the other side,im gonna downloadd new dsi games just to get my mind off things. hopefully it will work. i know i wont be sleeping again til like 3or4am. :( this is it for today. i miss you, RUTH Monday, December 28, 2009
“I hope you always find someone to take you home To put you into bed, kiss your cheek, and check your pulse Make sure you’re still breathing, with their hand up to your nose I wish that could be me, but it’s just not possible.” -breakfast in bed; conor oberst i miss you My fingers ache, begging to be holding yours. My face feels incomplete without your touch. My arms feel empty without you filling them. I miss you so incredibly much that it hurts and i’m not sure how to handle this REMEMBER WHEN YOU WANTED A TATTOO WITH MY NAME ON IT? *SIGH :( hi, you’re one of the best things that happened to me in 2009  Sunday, December 20, 2009
i'll get through this so my ipod is on shuffle, idk why is my ipod playing these slow jams. i dont know where to start, so lemme just say it randomly. first off, i just wanted to say thank you for helping me get over from what happened in the past. like, freals, i wanted to get out of that feeeling, and u helped me through out. i didnt know that i’ll take these things seriously, and i wasnt expecting myself to fall so deep for you. when i say fall so deep? i mean, i cant get up. idknow how am i gonna get through this. but i know i will, it just a matter of time. i believe that this relationship happened for a reason and theres a reason too, why did not work out. like u said, “were two different people” but ive always believed that “opposite attracts”. guess its not true. You made me feeeeel so fucken goooood for 1 month or so. even when were just talking? those were the happppiest days of my life, that it came to the point that i wanted to be forever. and then bam! shit happened and ur feelings changed, but still, i was right there, stayed in love with you. “I just fell out of love for you” u dont know how much these words hurt me when u said that. i felt like letting go of your hand, but no, i held on, because i still belive in us. the expectation of being together,and working it out. it did not happened. i stepped on my pride, i gave you my all that it came to the point i had nothing left for myself. taking risks just to see you, leaving me behind while im always there for you. treating you the best way i could ever think of.. NOW playing: One Last Cry- Brian Mcknight. hopefully, this will be the last time i’ll ever cry offa you. Numerous nights, i think of you and cry because of you. You dont know anything about how i feel for you. You dont know how i go through everyday thinking that u fell out of love for you. Thinking of ways to make u fall in love with me again is not easy as it sounds. Leaving me aside,when ur friends are there, i play it cool just to make u happpy, because i know that i cud never make u happy again. Checking your phone everyday, asking you questions? well sorry for the fact that i just want you by myself, whats so hard about understanding this fact. Well, u dont have to worry about that. U have the freedom that u want. im sorry for what happened. it was all my fault because i was so selfish. dont tell me you want to take it back because u know u like it this way. u proved that to me with the how you treated me infront of you ex. “what the fuck is your problem dude” a fucken wow. thats what i wasnt expecting from someone i love. anyways, im getting to the end. I just wanted to say thank you. i know ive said this hella times before. but thank you, you made me learn things. i dont needa name each of it, because i already told you. thanks a lot. secondly, i jsut wanted to say sorry. sorry for making you feel like shit. making you feel like this and that.for making you feel all the negative feelings you could feel. im sorry that this relationship didnt work out like what we expected. i truly am sorry. NOw playing: Only Hope- Mandy Moore. Youre all that i ever wanted, youre all that i ever wanted to love. i gave you my all. thankyou for this experience. ill never forget this. ill be over you somehow. i love you. goodbye. Wednesday, December 9, 2009
idk what to feeeel. like on the real talk, u asked me a chance, but im to scared that it would be the same thing over and over again. im scared to get hurt, i know its selfish, but man, its killing me. im not lying. it slowly taking away my energy when i would think of all that things that had happened. i dont wanna be in that kind of situation, i dont wanna be there, this is the first time in my life that i have to fight for something what i belived in and then gave up just like that. as weak as it sounds, but it was killing me. i think i already have a phobia to be in that kind of situatiion. im not gonna lie. :( ughh. i love you tooooo much to let go of this, but i have to. im sorry. goodbye Wednesday, December 2, 2009
untitled i dont know how or what am i feeling today.i felt shitty bcuz of the weather today, it is too cold for me. my hands were always cold. towards at the end of the day. i was looking forward on being with her alone. but i guess not, stupid weather. wait why am i blaming it on the weather, its winter already. u should be used to it. but its whatever. ill wear thick layers next time. i watched her practice, and it ended, and yah it was whatever. told me to go home by myself. its okay. i see how it goes. so i just walked away.. it makes me cry everytime we get into this thing; when i feel like you dont care anymore as much as you cared for me in the first day. i love you is all i can say. |
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But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay |
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